


Simplistic Paradox

by Justanothersinger



Category: Manlybadasshero (Youtube RPF), PewDiePie (YouTube RPF), Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Gen, I hope, So yeah, and just, and regular updates, and rewriting, between whom? eh sky's the limit, but there is shiptease, for about, i really hope, im going to add more youtubers as i go along, involved a lot of tears, it was v traumatic honestly, it's a project ive worked on, oh plenty of gore and death, there are no pairings, three years now, what is this story you ask?, writer's block being a butthole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-27 10:29:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justanothersinger/pseuds/Justanothersinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'What is your role? That of a player." </p><p>"What are you trying to play? Who do you want to control?"<br/>"Why do you recognize these characters?"</p><p>"Don't you want them to live?" </p><p>"If you lose here, you're not the one whose life is on the line."</p><p> <br/>Where every choice probably doesn't matter, but may keep your favorite youtuber alive.</p><p>This is Simplistic Paradox. </p><p>Play the Impossible Game?</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Title Screen

**Author's Note:**

> also stay tuned for some author's notes at the bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Welcome to Simplistic Paradox." 
> 
> "...And how do I leave?"
> 
> "Do you even want to try?"

Title Screen

 

 

Welcome to Simplistic Paradox!

 

 

Simplistic Paradox is an experiment that borrows from the medium of video games.

Although, this doesn't specifically make the experiment itself a video game.

Despite the role that you play.

 

What is your role? 

  
That of a **_player_**. 

 

You are sitting in front of a keyboard and screen. That is all you require to participate. 

And what must you do?

 

You need to control the game's **_characters_**. 

 

They are all people involved in this experiment.

And they will travel in the worlds of the games that they have played.

 

With memories wiped and with not a screen to protect them from the dangers.

Even death.  
  
And you will choose whose story you want to see. Put simply, you will see their 'route'.

 

Once they're on their respective routes, you will not be able to interfere in any way. You will have to watch as they wander around the world, interacting with various objects and going down a path that may lead to the way out and into the next world. Or to their death.

And in the event that they die, you will have the option to revive them. We've provided you with that function, but it can only work under certain situations.

 

Is there a point where you can't revive them anymore?

 

Do you want to find out? 

 

This is Simplistic Paradox. 

 

[Play the impossible game? ](http://heart-machine-drama-queen.tumblr.com/simplistic-paradox)

 


	2. Player Tutorial #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you're throwing yourself into Hell, you're going to need a guide."

 

_**A Viewer has logged in.** _

 

**> A Tutorial is about to play. Skip it?**

 

**>[YES](http://heart-machine-drama-queen.tumblr.com/simplistic-paradox)**

**> NO**

 

:no

 

**> Very well. **

 

Notice the format of the exchange up there? It's a common format that is present during both the routes and the intro screen. Put simply, it's an exchange between the two main characters. 

 

**> The bold lines with an > belong to the consciousness of the machine. **

 

Or more simply, it's the game talking to the other character. It gives off all appearances of being human, but it is  _not_ human. 

The only person the consciousness of the machine can communicate with is the other protagonist of the story, the player. 

 

: the player communicates with a : in front of the words

: no punctuation mostly

: words short

: and in lowercase

: grammar skills also leaving something to be desired

 

They act as a stand-in for the viewers of the story, but they do possess their own individuality. They are human, while their conversation partner is not. 

 

The other characters of the story interact directly with the game. 

 

In the real world, they are youtubers who've recorded themselves playing these very same games. But now, they're trapped in those very same games and whatever advantage playing them before had given them is gone with their memories wiped.

The player has limited communication with them; they could input certain commands at a given time and little else. Otherwise, they're forced to sit in front of a screen and watch as the others stumble through a world not of their control.

 

: what will happen to them

 

**> Are you sure you need to worry about 'them' right now? **

 


	3. Intro 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Back again?"
> 
> "Hm? 'This is the first time you've been here?'  
> Is that what you're going with?"

**Simplistic Paradox**  
  
** Intro 1**

**> You're back again.**

**> Hm? 'This is the first time you've been here?'**

**> Is that what you're going with?**

**> Then...welcome.  Welcome. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night. Whatever weather you have at the moment, hopefully it's good weather. And isn't it kind of strange that three of them are used to open a conversation and one is used to end it?**  
  
** >Do I have better things to talk about than the weather and the time of day? Of course I do. But I don't have anything to talk to you about. **

 

**> No common subjects of interest.**

**> Because I don't 'know' you do I?**

**> If you don't know me, you don't know what you're expected to do here.**

**> Yes, you're here for a reason.**

**> You have a screen in front of you right now. That is how you 'see' me.**

**> And though, I've spoken for us both all this while, I'll need input from you as well.**

**> In front of you is a keyboard.**

  
  
** >I will give you a choice. It involves people. You know these people. **  
  
** >You also know what they do.**

**> Kind of ironic considering what you're facing, isn't it?**  
  
** >The gamer being played by a game.**

**> What are you doing? It's not time to choose now.**

**> Doing that will have no effect.**

 

**> Stop that. **

**> Tapping away on the keyboard won't do anything. **

 

**> Are you that desperate to save them?**

  
  
** >You're fully invested in this now? Good.**  
  
** >Before you stand four people. They all have a story that's waiting to be played out. But it's your job to start the story for them.  **  
  
** >So with that considered...**

**> Whose story do you want to see?**

[-Pewdiepie](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11604424)  
[-DanandPhil](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11638372)  
[-ManlyBadassHero](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/13482253)


	4. Pewdiepie Act 1.11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can't save them."
> 
> "You're nowhere near strong enough yet."

Simplistic Paradox

 

[ **> Whose story do you want to see?** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11599447)

-Pewdiepie  
[-DanandPhil](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11638372)  
[-ManlyBadassHero](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/13482253)

:

:pewdiepie

 

**> You choose him? **

**> So be it. You are now to watch over him.**

**> Do you remember what this means? **

 

:no

 

**>...Allow me to explain.**

  
  
** >This character that you've chosen will undergo a new trial. **  
  
** >You watch him. As you always...as you're supposed to do. Watch over his progress.**

**> At certain points in time, he will need you to 'continue' his progress. You will be provided with a prompt for this when the time comes. **

 

**> Nothing else will be expected of you.**

  
  
** >Good luck to the both of you. He'll probably need it considering the trial he's facing now. **

**> It's...a taxing one.**  
  
** >Go.**  
  
** >And try to remember me when we meet again. Though you were always the type of person with 'selective memory', after all.**  
  
** >Weren't you?**

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When he wakes up, it's windy and goddamn, it's _cold._

 

He groans and rolls to the side, but that doesn't really help much.

Also, his back hurts. A lot.

And his arm feels like it has multiple pins and needles stuck in them.

 

 

 

But even though he clearly wasn't comfortable lying down like this, he can't bring himself to get up.

He rolls on his back and stretches his limbs, feels his joints pop and he groans a bit.  

It was weird, but he felt quite well-rested, despite the obvious discomfort. Like he's been sleeping for a long while.

 

...

 

...Hey. Why was he sleeping in the first place?

 

 

He opens his eyes.

He sees his hand, resting in a patch of grass. He moves his face and feels it against his face.

 

...

 

The hell was he doing lying down in grass?

He slowly pushes himself up in a sleeping position and looks around. His confusion doesn't alleviate any when he notices the flowers growing on either side of him, bright and colorful. 

He's apparently been laying on some of them too and it's a miracle that the thorns hadn't pokes his eye out. They scratched his hands up pretty nicely though.  _Ow._

And why was he laying in a patch of flowers in the middle of where-the-fuck-ever?

 

Yeah, he didn't know. 

But he probably shouldn't lie down here for any longer.

"Ugh, ouch." He says, with a flinch as he moves. Bad idea. Ow, painful. But he still pulls himself up and looks around. 

 

Something heavy clinks on his chest and he looks down to see a heavy, old-fashioned pocket watch slung around his neck. The screen was cracked, but it seemed to be running. Or at least, he assumes so because there's no numbers on the dial thing. Just three hands and a blank white canvas.

He tries pulling at it and he can't even lift it off his shirt.

 

"W...hat?" He mumbles to himself, pulling at it again. It's not even a matter of strength; he can pull the chain off his chest easily enough, but the actual clock itself? Felt like it weighed the same as the chain and he can't even tug it a centimeter off.

The exercise is enlightening in other ways because it alerts him to another oddity on his body; a strangely modern LED bracelet on his arm. When he finally gives up on the clock thing and watches the bracelet, it flashes at him every odd minute or so, spelling out the word 'AWAKE'.

 

_That isn't weird at all._

 

His arm falls to his side again and he looks around.

 

And then he realizes just how dark it was. If he looked up, strong sunlight shone through the trees, but it doesn't ever reach the ground. 

And there were trees all around. A thick, dark, expansive forest that seemed to go on for miles.

 

"Where...the fuck?"

 

Where is he? Where is he?

Wherever he was, he needed to get out of here. He doesn't feel safe.

He doesn't feel safe staying in one place.

 

_I need to keep moving._

 

So he heads south.

 

And finds himself trapped by a giant wall of sorts made entirely of roses. 

_...Yeah, no, this was weird._

 

But he sees more sunlight shining through the gaps. So that definitely was his way out.

 

He tries tugging at the vines and winces more when it does absolutely nothing but pick at his own fresh cuts. 

  
_I need to find something to cut them down._

_I need to leave._

 

_I need to get out of here._

 

He's stalked all the way back to where he first woke up before he pauses.

"...Wait. Did something change around here?" 

 

There seemed to be something...lacking here. Like something was missing. Something that had been there before.

...Why did he get the feeling that he was being watched? 

 

 "Let's just keep moving." He says to himself. Once he's made it to the other side of the clearing, he stops again. 

 

There were vines protruding from either side in front of him, winding around trees from both the ground and, strangely enough, from the branches as well. It seemed to be the same kind of rose vine that was blocking his path in the other direction, but someone had managed to cut through here. 

As evident from the very large, very rusty and very sharp pieces of metal lying on the ground.

 

... _Is that a fucking machete._

 

No, seriously, what the hell? Rusty or not, how the actual fuck did a machete break from cutting roses?

 

Then again, that's only what he's assuming. Maybe something else happened that involved those series events. 

Even if the strange feeling in his gut is telling him that's exactly what happened. The feeling that also told him he was being watched, coincidentally.

His head hurts just thinking about it.

 

"Let's just keep moving." He tells himself again and he sounds less convinced this time.

 

When he continues up the path, he sees a house. Suspiciously large, looks more like a mansion. Even the door-a simple wood door that he'd expect at an apartment or something-looked too small for the face of it. 

And strangely enough, the door was open.  The lights seemed to be on, but dim. And wavering.

 

So inviting from a house in a forest like this.

Note the sarcasm. 

 

Maybe there'd be someone there who'd help him out. 

He looks up at the house, nods to himself again and walks inside. 

 

And it's even darker inside the house than he thought. The light was apparently coming from a pair of candles on either side of another door on the opposite side of the room. Speaking of the room itself, it seemed oddly bare for an entrance. Just three walls and two doors.

It really didn't help the feeling of looming dread that was so great it was literally dragging at his heels.

 

_Calm down._

 

Since he can't do anything but go forward, he moves forward.

The door creaks loudly under his touch and he hears a little girl cry out, "Who's there?"

It's unexpected, startling him enough to look up just to see a little girl whirl around, take a step back, hears the door behind click as it swung itself shut-

 

And hears a deafeningly loud whirring sound as the walls close in on them with frightening speed.

 

His heart stops, kicks into double time, hears her scream, feels air against his body as he lunges forward-

Feels a small, breakable wrist in his, feels it pulled away with the same force as the enormous one pressing his body, h-he can't breathe, it's pressing down on him too hard, too fast, his heart in his throat, feels his heart beat, a painful wrench in his gut, a painful pressure in his skull-

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

**> GAME OVER.**

 

**> It's over. **

**> Stop hitting the keyboard. His journey is over. **

**> But he's not. **

 

:what?

 

**> I told you to remember. You can CONTINUE his journey yourself. **

**> Look at the screen. Do you see it?**

 

:revive button?

 

**> Yes. If you type REVIVE in your keyboard, you can bring him back. **

**> Wait. Don't do it yet. There are certain conditions for each REVIVE.**

 

:what do i have to do?

 

**> Impatient. As always.**

**> Depending on the world that they are transported to, to REVIVE each player would require certain things.**

 

:things?

 

**> For this one...you have no need to do anything else. Simply type the word. **

**> You even have unlimited tries. You lucked out this time.**

**>...Are you ready to proceed?**

 

:can i stop him?

 

**> You don't control him. And he does not remember his death. **

**> But would that doom him to a second, third, fourth time dying? **

 

:i wont let that happen

 

**> Who knows.**

**> Are you ready? **

 

:yes

  
**> Very well.**

**> Whenever you're ready.**

 

:  
: REVIVE

 

**> COMMAND RECOGNIZED**

**> GAME START IN 3**

**> 2**

**> 1**

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

"...Where..."

His lips felt dry, torn up. His voice even more so.

 

He sits up in the patch of flowers, feels the strange clock thing bounce on his chest.

"Why am I lying in a patch of grass? And...flowers?" 

It's scratched up his fingers, his jeans, his shirt.

 

He stands up slowly and god, his joints hurt. His legs literally feel like they're about to give in any second. 

 

...He feels like he's been dragged through Hell and back.

 

 _Doesn't feel like I had a good nap. Or anything._ He thinks as he stretches, wincing at the pain. 

 

...Why does he feel like he's being watched?

He looks around but he doesn't see anybody. Or anything.

 

"Wait, why am I in a forest?"

A really creepy forest too. Dark, even though the sun was there, shining through the ceiling of leaves.

 

The kind of forest that reminded him of those really gory fairytales. 

Dark. Clustered. Trees spiraling up overhead, blocking out all sunlight. 

 

"...I should try looking for a way out of here." Something's telling him that he probably shouldn't stay in one place for very long.

 

There's a path to his left and his right.

  
_Maybe I should head to the right._

 

He walks through the patch, onto the thin dirt path. From the corner of his eye, he sees rose vines and something shiny on the ground.

 

"...Huh? There's something on the stump."

Was that...a cat?

 

It seemed to be startled when he walks all the way up to it.

 

"Hey, kitty. What're you doing all the way out here?" He asks.

"Sunbathing. What's it look like?" It replies.

 

"Sunbathing?" He blinks and looks back at the thick leaf canopy overhead.

Before he realizes that the cat had _talked back to him._

 

"What the fuck?!" He scrambles away from the stump just as the cat lazily opens an eye and raises itself into a sitting position.

  
"What's the matter? Never seen a talking cat before?"

"A talking-no!" He shoots back, "What the fuck?! You're a cat, h-h-how are you talking?!"

 

"I open and close my mouth. Like so." The cat demonstrates with exaggerated movements and he can see its overtly sharp, pointy fangs, "And you're a weird guy."

" _I'm_ the weird one?!"

 

"Yeah. You'd expect to see creatures like me in a witch's forest, wouldn't you?"

 

"...A...A witch's forest?"

  
"You don't know? That house there", It nods his head to the left and only now he notices the super-large house ahead of him, "A witch is supposed to live in that house."

"A witch? B-but, witch's don't-"

 

"Guy, you're talking to a talking cat. Might be a good time to throw all your old beliefs out the window. That or you could leave the forest." The cat cocks its head and it seems to have remembered something, "But wait a sec; she said there wasn't a way out." 

"She?"

 

"There's a kid who wandered in the house a bit ago. Hey, she was a blondie like you! She your sister or something?" 

"Wait, a kid?"

 

"Yeah. Actually...this is a witch's house, so that may have not been a good idea. Witches aren't really nice people."

"Wha-really?!" He looks up at the house again.

  
"Yeah. But maybe if you go in, you could probably find a way out." 

"How?"

  
"This _is_ her forest."

 

"...Fine." This sounded like a horrible idea and he's taking the word of a _talking cat,_ so it's even more ridiculous. But he couldn't really come up with anything else.

Also...there was something in his gut telling him that this was probably a thing he needed to do.

 

That or he's getting a bit hungry. Either or.

 

"Alright." He says and he's about to make his way to the house when he's stopped by the cat again. "Hey, what's your name? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen you before."

 

_Yeah, that was obvious, seeing as I don't know the place._

 

"It's Pewdiepie."

  
"Pew-dee-wha? That's a weird name."

  
"Yeah, well, that's my name." He says with a shrug, "See ya, weird cat."

  
"See ya, weird human."

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

 >GAME PAUSED.

>PEWDIEPIE ACT 1: WORLD 1: **THE WITCH'S HOUSE**

>FILE NAME: **DEATH'S A FEATURE, DYING AN IMPOSSIBILITY**

> **END.**

 

[>CONTINUE?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11599447)

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of Dan and Phil's Route #1 coming up next! in a couple of days or so


	5. Dan And Phil Act 1.21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's too late."
> 
> "You'll never meet again."

Simplistic Paradox

  
[**> Whose story do you want to see?**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11599447)

[-Pewdiepie](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11604424)  
-DanandPhil  
[-ManlyBadassHero](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/13482253)

 

:

:danandphil

 

**>  You choose them?**

  
**> So be it. You are now to watch over them.**

**> Do you remember what this means?**

 

:no

 

**> Allow me to explain.**

**> These characters that you've chosen will undergo a new trial.**

**> They act as a duet and function as a single player.**

**> This is both a blessing and a curse. Do you understand?**

 

:no

 

**> That's fine. Even if you don't, you will soon enough.**

**> At certain points in time, they will need you to 'continue' their progress. You will be provided with a prompt for this when the time comes.**

 

**> Nothing else will be expected of you.**

**> Good luck to all of you. They'll probably need it most of all, considering the trial they're facing now. It's...a tough one.**

**> Go.**

**> And do try to remember me when we meet again. Though you were always the type of person with 'selective memory', after all.**

**> Weren't you?**

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

There's a smell of must and rust in the air. It's so thick he can barely breathe.

 

His fingers twitch and he feels leather underneath them.

He can't move anything else.

  
Why?

 

He tries to lean forward and he's held back by something, he hears another soft groan right behind him.

 

"Phil...?" A voice asks, weak.

A voice...he knows that voice. He tries to look back and he can't; his neck hurts like hell and it's like something's holding his body down.

"Dan? Dan, is that you?"

 

"Yeah. God, my head hurts...what's..." Dan fumbles a bit for words, "What's happening? Where are you?"

"You're behind me...I think. I can't see you." 

 

"...Huh? Yeah, me too. Wait." Dan pauses, "Is that...is that rope? On me?"

"Rope?" Phil blinks and looks down. Sure enough, he sees that it was rope apparently holding him back.

...Wait, doesn't that mean-?!

 

"Wh-why are we tied up?!"

  
Dan seems to flinch at that, the realization has hit him anew there too. "We're...shit, we are! What's going on?!"

 

Before Phil could even say anything else, he hears a telephone ring.

  
It's so loud. It's echoing through all the walls of the room.

 

"...Wait, where is this place anyway?"

"I don't...I don't know." Dan says, "Ugh, can that phone just shut up already, I-"

 

He didn't even need to finish the sentence. The ringing cuts off awkwardly and it goes into the answering machine mode with a beep.

 

_"Hello?"_

 

The guy's voice is scratchy, weirdly cheery. So strangely out of place in this dark, dark room.

 

 _"Hello, hello?"_ The guy tries again, a bit louder this time unfortunately _"Can you hear me?"_

"Yeah, all too well, sadly." Dan mutters, "Oh, god. God, my fucking head..."

  
_"Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night here. So you both would know what to do while staying the night there."_

 

"...What?" Phil asks, frowning. He's fully awake now and the fog in his head is starting to clear.

 

And the alarm bells were starting to go off.

 

_"So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through the week. Ok?"_

"Getting us through the...what are you on about?" Dan asks. Phil feels a tug on the rope again and gain, he realizes he probably shouldn't be very calm because he and Dan were tied up at a spot and stranded God knows where.

 

"D-Dan?"

"Shh, he's saying something else."

 

_"Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."_

 

"...Huh?"

"What did...he say?"

 

_"... now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too."_

 

"What...what does he mean by 'quirky'?" Phil asks and then he hears an ominous clank of sorts from somewhere.

And then he realizes that he's facing a door. Doorway? All he could see through it was darkness.

  
_"So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"_

"As in...the brain? W-was he talking about the brain?"

"What the fuck?" Dan whispers again, "What is...this? What's going on?"

 

_"Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person."_

  
"Night watchman?"

"Is this a prank or something? What the hell?"

"U-uh...Dan? Dan, look at our clothes!"

"What?" A pause as Dan looks down at what he's already seeing.

  
Sees the starched white shirt, dark trousers. 

Not their jeans or pajama pants or shirts that they've come to recognize as their own.

  
"What the fuck?"

  
While they struggled to comprehend this new discovery, the voice from the phone droned on. They didn't hear what he was saying until they caught a certain word.

A word that made them pause, look back at the phone with eyes wide and mouths shut.

_"Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death."_

 

Death.

Death.

 

"D..."

 

Phil only manages to say that much before Dan cuts him off.

"Ok, this has gone on long enough! What the fuck is going on?! Where the hell are we?!"

 

He seems to be yelling it at the phone, as if trying to get the man to hear.

"What the shit are you pulling on us?!" 

 

Of course, the phone guy can't hear him.

 

_"Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh._

_Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."_

"What is...this? What the hell is happ...ening?"

 

Phil's question drifts off in the air as he flinches; something's popped up right next to him with a mechanical whirr.

 

A screen?

 

On the screen, he sees static, a room moving slowly to the side. And back to the starting point. 

 

"Phil...? You...you're seeing this right? The screen?"

 

Compared to his earlier outburst, Dan sounds oddly...quiet now. Barely restrained panic in his voice. 

"Y-yeah."

 

"I...c-can you hear that?"

  
"What?"

 

And then he does.

 

More whirring. It's loud, grates against his ears but he hears it.

The low, low voice. Spasms of breath like its gasping.

 

Like it's laughing.

 

"What is that?!"

"I-I dunno. Phil, this is fucking weird. This is creepy, fucking creepy, god I don't want to be here...I-I don't want to be here!"

 

"Ngh, ow! C-calm down Dan! You're tugging the ropes. Just...just calm down for a bit, ok?"

"What are we going to do?!"

 

"That..." Phil looks down and blinks as he notices something. The shackles holding his wrists were open now. "Hey...hey, Dan! My hands, they're free!"

"What...oh yeah! So are mine! I-I still can't move much though...we're still tied together."

  
"Maybe we can cut the rope with something."

 

"Yeah. Let's...take a look around."

 

Dan says that, but he still can't see anything either. The light was painfully bright to his aching head and eyes; he could make out a desk. Wait, his elbow was resting on it. It's closer than he realized.

He blinks and takes a deep breath, forcing himself to stay calm as his eyes start to adjust. 

A noisy fan and a desk cluttered with merchandise of some sort. Posters on the walls too.

 

All of them centered around the same words.

 

"Freddy Faz...Fazbear's? Pizzeria?" Dan reads out loud, "A pizzeria? Are we inside the pizzeria or..."

"I don't see anything here we can use..." Phil says, "I'll keep looking though."

 

Dan, at this point, was studying the screen in front of him. "Hmm? Hey, Phil. This screen is touch-based. There's like a map on the side that we can click."

"Do you see anything?"

"Wait a second..." Phil hears the sound of tapping and then a tug on the ropes again as Dan gasps. "What?!" Phil asks, "What is it?!"

 

"Th-there's some kind of mascot...thing. Like a bunny or something, I dunno. It kinda scared me; it's really fucking dark in there."

"Oh. D'you see anything else?"

"Uhm...", More tapping, "I see like a couple of other mascot things right next to it. A duck and a bear. Maybe it's a storage room or something." Phil hears the tapping noises again and then Dan says, "I'm seeing...something like a dining room? A party room. It's covered with birthday hats and I see banners and stuff."

"So we're probably in the pizzeria?"

 

"I guess.  Ugh...I can't really see into the kitchen. It's pitch black in there. And um...there's this tent thing in a room that says out of order..."

 

"You don't see an exit anywhere?"

 

"No." 

 

"I don't see anything that could help us out of these ropes ether..." Phil says. Then he notices a switch panel up front. Two square switch things. One for light and one for the door.

A tap on the light switch turns on the light in the doorway. Flickering and noisy, like a tubelight. A tap on the door switch closes the door.

 

He keeps it closed. It just...feels safer that way. 

 

"...Huh?" 

"What is it?" 

"I..." Dan's words are shaky now. Really shaky; he sounds like a frightened child. 

 

Phil had never heard him so scared in his life. 

 

"I can't...I can't see it."

"See what? Dan, what's wrong?"

 

"One of them is missing." 

 

"One of what?" 

 

"One of the mascot things..." 

 

Laughter. It's louder. 

It's all he could hear now. 

 

"It's  _gone._ " 

 

Phil reaches for the switch...and opens the door. 

It's dark outside. 

Cold. 

 

He presses the light switch. 

 

In the flickering light of the doorway...

 

...He sees the empty eyes of the mascot staring back at him. 

 

Something pushes against him then and he hears a click, the door's pulled back down. 

And then he realizes Dan's yelling his name.

 

"Phil, what are you doing?!" 

"Uh?" 

  
"Snap out of it! There are more of them missing!" 

 

"What?" 

Why did it feel like his head was spinning? His heart feels like lead.

What...was happening? 

 

"The mascots are moving around!" 

"The mascots?" 

 

"Shit, none of them are in the room now..." Frantic tapping on the screen and Dan screams again, suddenly. Phil looks over to see what's wrong and sees glaring plastic eyes and a hideous yellow chicken...thing before Dan slams the door button. 

"Wh-what was that?!" 

 

"I dunno, but I really don't want to find out!"

 

"Wh-why are the mascots coming after us?!"

 

"I don't  _know-_ " 

 

The screen in front of Phil flickers again and the teddy bear mascot thing is there. He'd...appeared somehow in the middle of the room.

 

"Sh-should we let them in or something?"

"Why the hell would we let them in?!"

"I dunno; they seem really intent on getting in the room?!"

 

"Phil, we woke up in the middle of a strange place that quite literally smells like death, we're tied up and can't move and creepy mascot things are coming right at us! I don't think these are all good things!"

"True but...maybe they're here to explain the situation?"

"What situation?!"

 

"Since we're kinda kidnapped, aren't they gonna come and explain the whole thing to us?! Like in Saw??"

 

"The last thing I wanna do right now is think about Saw and games and crap when there are killer toy mascots outside the doors!" 

 

"...I don't think they'll be able to break through now, though. The doors are made of solid metal."

"Yeah, that's another thing. Why are the doors like this? A normal pizzeria place thing wouldn't have them. Unless we _aren't_ in the pizzeria. But the rooms-" He cuts himself off there, "U-ugh. There's the chicken thing. It's in that room...wait. The map has labels on it."

 

"Yeah. It does. I guess 'YOU' stands for the room we're in?" 

"That does...make sense." Dan takes a deep breath, "Wh-what do we do now?" 

"I'm not sure. I...maybe we should look for something to cut the ropes." 

"Y-yeah, let's." 

 

The sound of shuffling behind him and Phil's the one keeping an eye on the screen now. 

 

The sound of whirring, the sound of laughing. Rising and fading and rising again, echoing in the hollow. 

He taps the screen, eyes following the sway of the room. 

 

"I wonder if we can break something in here and use the shards to cut the rope." He hears Dan mutter. 

 _That's probably not...safe._ But whatever'd help them get out of this weird situation.

 

_How did we get into this situation in the first place?!_

 

All he could remember of the time before was-

 

"Phil?"

"Yeah?" 

"I didn't notice it before , but there's a power meter in the corner." 

 

"...Oh yeah, there is." 

"It looks pretty low. So what happens if we run out of it?" 

 

And as if Dan's words were heard at that exact moment, the lights around them clicked off. 

"...?!"

So did the screens. Phil can't see anything on them anymore. 

 

And he hears a heavy clank as the door slides open again. 

 

"Phil?!"

"I'm here." Phil looks around, "Wh...what happened?" 

"I'm not sure, I...saw the power meter hit 0 and then this happened!" 

 

"Power meter?...!"

In the darkness, he can see two eyes glaring at him. 

 

Dead. Soulless. 

Glowing with a cold light. 

 

From somewhere, he could hear the slow tones of a creaky, music box. 

 

Ah. He'd wondered why. 

In the back of his mind, probably, he'd wondered why he couldn't hear the laughter anymore. 

"Phil?"

 

"Shhh."

 

He needed to keep quiet. They both did. 

That's all he knew, what his mind was screaming at him to do. 

 

_**"KeEp stILl I"** _

_**"dOnt TalK"** _

 

_**"I DOn T waNAA-"** _

 

"Phi-"

 

The music cuts off abruptly and the eyes disappear. Melted into the darkness as they stopped glowing. 

 

The silence itself was like their death toll. 

 

And suddenly, he hears it. 

The actual toll of a bell. 

He looks up as the screen flickers to life again, showing the words 5 AM on it. The 5 slowly...floating? Rotating until it's replaced by 6. 

And the cheering of children in the background, so weirdly dissonant in the tension-filled silence. 

 

"What's...going on?"

The same question in as many minutes. And yet Phil still can't answer. 

  
Because he can't. 

 

His neck groans in complaint and pain and he feels his eyes close, lids heavy. Without warning, the sensation of fatigue washed over him. 

 

He hears Dan call his name once again before he blacks out. 

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

**> I should have told you what that meant.**

**> What I said earlier.**

**> I should have told you. **

 

:you?

:what are you talking about?

 

**> Nothing. **

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

**> GAME PAUSED.**

**> DAN&PHIL ACT 1: WORLD 1: FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S**

**> FILE NAME: DEATH'S A FEATURE, DYING AN IMPOSSIBILITY**

**> END.**

[>CONTINUE?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11599447)

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Manly's route is up next.
> 
> And yeah I will be taking liberties with some game worlds. Mostly, I'll avoid changing them up though. Your sense of immersion has no risk of being broken by me~


	6. ManlyBadassHero Act 1.31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can't ever see them again." 
> 
> "You cannot miss what you did not have."

Simplistic Paradox

  
[ **> Whose story do you want to see?** ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11599447)

[-Pewdiepie](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11604424)  
[-Dan+Phil](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11638372)  
-ManlyBadassHero

 

:

:manlybadasshero

 

**> You choose him?**

  
**> So be it. You are now to watch over him.**

**> Do you remember what this means?**

 

:no?

 

**>...Very well then. Allow me to explain.**

**> This character that you've chosen will undergo a new trial.**

**> At certain points in time, they will need you to 'continue' their progress. You will be provided with a prompt for this when the time comes.**

**> Do you understand?**

 

:ye s

 

**> There's something else you need to be aware of **

**> The character you've chosen has certain advancements made to him**

 

:what did you do to him?

 

 

**> Nothing else will be expected of you.**

**> Good luck to all of you. They'll probably need it most of all, considering the trial they're facing now. It's...a taxing one.**

**> Go.**

**> And do try to remember me when we meet again. Though you were always the type of person with 'selective memory', after all.**

**> Weren't you?**

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The cat wakes up quite suddenly, all of a sudden. 

 

Eyes wide open, a sharp inhale and he's already sitting up. Wide awake.

"H-hello?"

The cat rubs their eyes and looks around the room. It's darker than it should be.

 

The cat's moved to the edge of the bed, stretching when the door creaks open a little more.

 

"Whoa, hey. You're awake?"

 

The cat doesn't reply. He doesn't even move. 

And as the man blinks, he hears a loud, insistent pinging noise.

 

"Ugh, this again?" The man mutters. He's about to move when the cat asks a question. 

 

"H-hello?"

"Hi?" Is the man's response. But the cat doesn't respond. 

No. It's like they couldn't hear him. 

 

As he stares, something seems to shoot out from under his fingertips and moves up to his eyes. 

A transparent screen, like a computer window. 

 

Even as he stares, words slowly appear in the center. Accompanied by typing sounds. 

 

" _An odd feeling of deja vu overwhelms Niko._ " He reads, out loud. Again, no response. 

So, the cat can't hear him? He should have expected that.

 

Somehow, he's managed to avoid looking at it again. When he's confirmed the fact that the cat...Niko couldn't see him, he does finally look back down. 

At his arm. At himself. 

  
It's barely evident in the apartment's dingy light, but...he could see it.

He could see through it. Like the rest of his body, his arm was still transparent. 

 

The shock had started to fade some, but it was still jarring to him. He looks away from his arm again, just in time to see the cat move, get up from the edge of the bed. 

The cat had spotted something at the edge of the carpet. 

A little lump. It turned out to be a TV Remote. 

 

As Niko picked up the remote, there was another pinging sound and he looks down to see words on the screen.

 

" _There's a TV Remote underneath the carpet here_."

" _Niko picks it up_."

 

"...Kind of slow on the uptake." He mumbles, then he notices some more words on the corner of the screen. Lowercase, and it wasn't accompanied by the typing sounds like it was for the others. 

 

_-note added-_

  
  
"A note?" He barely manages to say this before the screen flickers and shuts down, "...?!"

It doesn't stay that way for long though. It opens back up again and it seems the interface had changed. 

 

The screen was no longer black, but instead filled with what appeared to be a pixel creation of some sort. It looked almost like a map of some kind...wait, it _was_ one. 

As Niko moved along the edge of the carpet, there was a small cat person following his path on what appeared to be a pixel rendition of the carpet. 

 

On the wall were four squares for the window, a bookshelf, a square on a rectangle like the desk with the computer. 

And a bed, like the one where Niko had been sleeping in.

 

And there's that shock again. It takes him a while to recover, but when he does, he finally thinks to interact with the map with a tentative poke. 

Finally he's able it to pull up a menu. All it took was him tapping the screen, and then noticing a "Menu" in the side and then saying that word out loud and actually pulling a different screen. 

 

On this screen was a picture of Niko and some numbers next to it. 

...Odd. They looked mostly like rubbish values, but they had a certain format to them. Almost like...statistics. Game stats for a playable character. 

 

To the left of the picture was a small, simplified menu. 

 

"Items, Equiment, Notes...and Game." He reads out, "...It did say a note was added. Might as well check it out." 

When he mumbles the word, another screen pulls up and he sees a screen, two words on either side. 

 

"General and Using Items. What's in General?"

  
Saying the word closes the menu and brings up the map again, as more words flood the center of the screen again. 

 

" _You must guide Niko through the game without quitting._ " And that was it. "Game? Does it mean this...this apartment, all of this? Is this the...hang on." 

 

He checks the note again, but it doesn't yield any more information. 

"What did it mean by game?" 

 

...He wouldn't get any answers from this note, so he checks the other one. Pulling up the other note, he sees these words. 

 

" _Using Items: To activate an item, select it in the items menu. You can combine items and use them with various objects in the environment. To deactivate an item, select it in the items menu again._ So this is how to...use items. Like in a video game." 

 

Like...a video game. 

 

So this is a...game? What the hell did that mean?

  
Before he could think of anything else, he hears the door creak and looks up to see the cat person walking into the other room. Staring wordlessly at the doorframe before he frowns and follows. 

As he walks, he hears the pinging sound again and the screen in front of him. 

 

" _A withered plant sits here, stiff and dry. There's no need to do anything to it._ " 

 

"A plant?" He doesn't see one. 

Not until he enters the bathroom anyway. It's just to the side of the door. And it does look quite withered and dry. 

 

" _A pair of **luminous, yellow** eyes stare back at Niko."_  

 

He looks to the screen and looks back up to see the cat child peering into the mirror. 

Into the mirror? So these words on the screens dictate Niko's actions? 

 

To confirm his suspicions, Niko runs over to the toilet and this helpful observation pops up. 

" _There's no water in the toilet._ "

 

"Aw." 

"It is quite problematic." 

 

"Luckily, I don't have to go right now, though." Niko says, seemingly agreeing with him. While Niko peers into the bathtub, another note flashes on the screen. 

 

" _The tub is completely empty._ " 

So it does track Niko's movements. Interesting. 

 

"Oh, everything's empty here." Niko comments. Looking back towards the bedroom again, Niko makes for the door. With him following close behind. 

 

Right now, he didn't want to lose track of the only thing that made sense in the past few minutes. 

Mulling over the meanings of the notes he'd just read, he decides to try out some more functions. 

 

If he had instructions on how to use items, he may as well try it out. 

 

He pulls up the menu again and goes to Items. And like he expected, he sees the words "television remote". With the highlight over the item, he'd noticed additional words on the screen, reporting that it was "too hard to read in the dark light". 

Once he's selected the remote, Niko holds it up again and looks around. 

 

Like a playable character. 

 

"...We should go up to the window." 70 percent of the light in the room came from there anyway. 

As if Niko had heard him, the cat walks towards the window and holds the remote up. 

 

While Niko's observation filled the screen with a  _ping_. 

 

" _In the faint light Niko can glimpse the face of the remote..._ "

_"All of the numbers except **2** , **3** , **1** and **5** are missing."_

_"They're marked in bright colors."_

 

There was something weird about that observation. It was like it had been specifically tailored to grab his attention.

Was it...was he supposed to do something with these numbers? A password or something?

 

If there was one place in the room where he could enter a password, it would probably be the computer.

 

Niko seems to have the same idea because the cat had wandered to the computer while he'd been occupied with the notes. As Niko taps on the keyboard and wakes it up, more

of Niko's observations flood the screen.

 

First. A different screen. Black, like the one he'd woken up with. In the upper left-hand corner were the  words "Input Password". Underneath that a row of zeroes and a rectangle highlighting the one on the far left. 

"A password input. Should I...uh, **two**?"

 

The screen reacts right away with a sliding-down animation of the zero switching to a two. So manual input. Simple enough. 

  
" **Three. One. Five.** " 

 

That was all it took. 

Once the password had been entered, the numbers remain on the screen in those same, bright colors before the words " _Access Granted_ " popped on-screen. 

 

And then everything around him went dark. 

 

"What the...?!" 

And the screen in front of him, bright colors, inverted from this sudden darkness. 

 

A desktop, various games cluttered in the corners. An unusually normal sight, quite similar to his own. 

He's hardly able to take this all in before a window appears on the screen. A dialogue box.

 

_"It seems I've finally been found."_

 

This interaction. Direct. 

As if the 'game' was talking to him. 

 

Dread creeping down his spine, he whispers 'okay'. 

 

The dialogue box vanishes and another takes its place. 

 

_"You're both far too late. Nothing left is worth saving."_

 

Both. Him and Niko. 

Far too late? For what?

 

"Surely Niko wants to leave and there's nobody happier to fulfill that request than me." 

 

So Niko was as much as unwilling participant as he is? 

 

He thinks this even as the dialogue box flashes again, this time to show him a chain of sentences. 

 

_"Keep in mind three things:"_

_"First, your decisions have permanent consequences."_

_"Second, you may quit whenever you like. This is permanent failure and murder."_

 

" _And most importantly..._ " 

 

The dialogue box closes. But instead of another taking its place, an error message appeared instead. Not signifying a problem with the system or his screens. 

Just underlining the importance of the computer's message. 

 

" ** _You only have one shot, ManlyBadassHero._** " 

 

Even as the surroundings around him returned to focus, with the dingy room in view and Niko staring at the computer curiously, ManlyBadassHero did not move. 

 

He stares at the screen, even as he sees the new words. 

 

_-note added-_

 

He finally moves, speaks. Blinking scarcely, as if burning the image in his mind. 

  
"Me...nu. Notes." 

 

A new one. 

 

"Quitting the game." 

 

" _Quitting the game before you reach the end will kill Niko._ " 

" _You only have one shot._ " 

 

"One shot at what?"

 

What could he expect anymore? What even was this game? 

How did it know who he was? 

 

Niko, oblivious to his turmoil, stares at the screen for a bit more before walking towards the exit door. 

 

And he follows. 

 

What else was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could go anywhere else, right? 

 

Maybe, if he knew what was coming, he would have fought back a little harder. 

Maybe. 

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

**> GAME PAUSED.**

**> MANLYBADASSHERO ACT 1: WORLD 1: ONESHOT**

**> FILE NAME: DEATH'S A FEATURE, DYING AN IMPOSSIBILITY**

**> END.**

[>CONTINUE?](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5044813/chapters/11599447)

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Renegade Here aka Scarletarrow! This one's for you, friendo :D
> 
> Next up is Part 2 of Pewds LP!

**Author's Note:**

> Songs used for inspiration: 
> 
> In Circles-Transistor OST  
> Me! Me! Me!-Teddyloid ft Daoko  
> Girl-Teddyloid ft Daoko  
> Ghost Town-Teddyloid  
> Vain-Singularity ft Evan Duffy  
> Alone-Singularity  
> The Spine-Transistor OST  
> Usurahi Shinjuu-Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu OP  
> Black and White-Ghost  
> Housewife Radio-Ghost  
> Mommy-Creep-P  
> Tempest-Zetsuen no Tempest OST arrangement  
> Epitaph-Shiki OST
> 
>  
> 
> This is the revamp of the story I posted up on wattpad an eternity ago that I re-read, promptly cringed over, ripped up, deleted my account, sat in my corner and continued cringing and spent a year writing.  
> yeah.
> 
> and yes this actually does rely on reader's input. simply put, all chapters will end with >continue? at the bottom and the title thing and if the new chapter's not up yet it'll just reroute to the story blog. the link up there. yep. 
> 
> im gonna post up the intro to the first route in a bit so yeah 
> 
> info will gradually be given out over player tutorial segments. And yes you're supposed to be a bit lost in the beginning dw
> 
> let's have fun with this aight?


End file.
